I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It: Confessions of a Fiftysomething

I bought a new wrinkle cream If you use it once a day, you look younger in a month.Twice a day, you look younger in two weeks.I ate it As the years go by, and the decades begin to pile up, people will do just about anything to reverse the signs of aging LASIK surgery, industrial strength hair dye, seven consecutive forty ninth birthday parties Rita Rudner is no exceptiI bought a new wrinkle cream If you use it once a day, you look younger in a month.Twice a day, you look younger in two weeks.I ate it As the years go by, and the decades begin to pile up, people will do just about anything to reverse the signs of aging LASIK surgery, industrial strength hair dye, seven consecutive forty ninth birthday parties Rita Rudner is no exception When she turned fifty, she couldn t even bear to say the word.In I Still Have It I Just Can t Remember Where I Put It, Rudner writes with humor and candor about all of the small indignities and everyday absurdities that have become standard fare From the perils of catalog ordering addiction to the challenges of keeping up with the latest in electronics, lingerie, and reality television to the joys and worries of being an older mother to the long search for the perfect retirement house, Rita covers it all.So put on your bifocals and power up your sense of humor Just don t blame Rita when your laugh lines get visibly deeper Refreshingly honest and undeniably hilarious, I Still Have It I Just Can t Remember Where I Put It is a laugh out loud look at the wonders and the surprises of life on the dark side of fifty.
I Still Have It I Just Can t Remember Where I Put It Confessions of a Fiftysomething I bought a new wrinkle cream If you use it once a day you look younger in a month Twice a day you look younger in two weeks I ate it As the years go by and the decades begin to pile up people will

  • Title: I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It: Confessions of a Fiftysomething
  • Author: Rita Rudner
  • ISBN: 9780307394590
  • Page: 349
  • Format: Hardcover
  • Still Alice Lisa Genova Books Acclaimed as the Oliver Sacks of fiction and the Michael Crichton of brain science, Lisa Genova is the New York Times bestselling author of Still Alice, Left Neglected, Love Anthony, and Inside the O Briens Still Alice was adapted into an Oscar winning film starring Julianne Moore, Alec Baldwin, and Kristen Stewart.Lisa graduated valedictorian from Bates College with a degree in Giuliani Trump Could Have Shot Comey And Still Couldn t Jun , Congress would have to impeach Trump first before any criminal prosecution could move forward, the president s lawyer says. Why so many kids can t sit still in school today The By Angela Hanscom A perfect stranger pours her heart out to me over the phone She complains that her year old son is unable to sit still in the classroom. It s still April, right Ghostwater excerpt Will Wight You are so lucky because you already got the chance to watch Ghostwater There are fans who are still craving to have a glance of it since the reviews posted online kept on saying that it s a must watch. Dear iPhone Here s Why We re Still Together After Aug , Dear iPhone It s hard to believe we re still together after years, which is eons in the tech industry What s the glue that keeps us together For one, I rarely get lost now that I Speedway Speedway Speedway Rulebooks TECH NOTE The Speedway Rulebooks have been posted for all four house divisions Please read them carefully and any questions regarding them may be forwarded to the tech director by email at dgreer gmail Please find rulebooks on our Rules Page Click Here For information about Speedway , visit Speedway, like Speedway Santa Rosa, Sonoma, Napa California fires Death toll Sonoma County, north of San Francisco, suffered the most damage, with people confirmed dead and than reported missing The fires have destroyed nearly , homes and caused . Flint Water Crisis Fast Facts CNN Mar , Read Fast Facts from CNN about the water crisis in Flint, Michigan. Multiple films still in Star Wars pipeline, sources Privacy Policy Your CA Privacy Rights Children s Online Privacy Policy Interest Based Ads Terms of Use Contact Us ABC News Internet Ventures All Democrats cautious about Trump impeachment after Cohen Former White House chief strategist Steve Bannon told The Guardian that both the Cohen plea deal and Manafort ruling would have implications for the November midterms, saying they will now be an

    1 thought on “I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It: Confessions of a Fiftysomething”

    1. I often pick up books by comedians and are disappointed -- often something is lost in the translation from spoken word to page. But in Rita Rudner's latest book, that is far from the truth. I actually was not familiar with her at all (though I recognized her name) so I was taking a big chancewould I even like her humor at all?I found that the book was not only hilarious, it was well-written. Funny, touching, honest like a conversation with a dear friend who just happens to have an extremely over [...]

    2. Very funny book by comedianne Rita Rudner. This is a series of stories, 4-5 pages each, on various subjects such as her daughter (whom she adopted later in life), her dog, her home, her shopping experiences, etc. Lots of fun and a very quick and enjoyable read.Favorite quotes (and these are not really jokes but ways of looking at life in a humorous and optimistic way, I think): "I shall impart to you my secret to happiness. It can be summed up in two words: low expectations. If you expect to be [...]

    3. Casey's MIL loved this book so we decided to make it our book club pick for this month! I am looking forward to it. Thanks Paula for the recommendation! Ok read this in Vegas and have a new love for Rita! There were so many fun quotes that I found myself reading them out loud to my family. Just a fun light book, chocked full of things I could relate to! I am hoping to be able to remember some of the funny things she said for days when I feel a little down. Enjoyable and entertaining!

    4. Rita Rudner, you deceived me! I have been on a kick lately of reading books about navigating the turbulent waters of hitting mid-life since I'm not doing it so well on my own. I thought this was one of those books from reading the flap blurb. This is SO not one of those books. But I ain't mad, I got nothing but love for you (a fave quote from "Independence Day" I just had to throw in here, in case there are any other "ID" fans out there), because I needed this book way more than more how-to-turn [...]

    5. I have always loved Rita Rudner, and I especially liked Naked Under My Clothes. This book started out making me laugh out loud; the middle few essays made me broadly smile; the last few essays made me want to sleep. Rita has a great wit and ability with words, but she ran out of gas toward the end of this book and those essays seem to me to describe ordinary days in her ordinary life.If she could have continued the pace she had set in the first few essays, I would have loved this, but the ending [...]

    6. Having seen Rita Rudner on various talk shows and a few comedy specials over the years, I was curious as to what she would write about. It was refreshing to hear a comedian reflect on the oddities of life in a clean an insightful manner that was also funny. If you liked the original beginning to Seinfeld, you will like "I Still Have It, I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It." Rudner shares her thoughts on being a wife, mother, daughter and comedian who has lived in New York City, Los Angeles and [...]

    7. "If you expect to be excellent at something, you will no doubt be disappointed. If you expect to be terrible, you can thrill yourself by actually being almost competent."A book of humorous essays Rita wrote about her life, including her childhood, parents, husband, home ownership, her daughter and her dog. She just can't bring herself to say she's fifty, so she says she's "filthy". I can relate and enjoyed the book. Easy to read. Easy to pick up and read a chapter whenever you get a minute.

    8. (Kathryn--DON'T READ THIS!) Well dang, this wasn't as good as "Naked Beneath My Clothes," but then these are the "Confessions of a fiftysomething," instead of the trials and tribulations of a thirtysomething. Rudner has a permanent show in Las Vegas as a comedian and I wish I could see her! Humourous bits abound to be sure but I was hoping for another "Naked" to read to my sister in Oregon during our upcoming vacation.

    9. Love her sense of humor. Picked this up while searching for something with a similar call number. The book is almost 10 years old, so some references are outdated (Osama Bin Laden and Whitney Houston were still alive then), but still an amusing look at the perils of turning 50, marriage, shopping, house-hunting and remodeling, pet ownership, etc. A nice diversion in the middle of more serious fiction books.

    10. LOVED this book. as a "fiftysomething" myself I found Rudner's life observations not only humorous but also dead on. But the book is not just "funny." It is truthful and poignant. Most entries made me cry, either from laughter or sadness. Life is messy and unpredictable; Rudner showed us the truth of that as well as means to cope with it.

    11. A very fun and easy read, it gives older women something to commiserate with and younger women something to look forward to. She has several humorous insights about aging, parenting, marriage and life in general. While her humor doesn’t translate perfectly well to the written word, it comes pretty darn close. I read it in about a day and was very glad I did.

    12. I remember when this book was released - Rita did a spot on NPR's Talk of the Nation w/ Neal Conan. She had me in stitches and I've had this book in the back of me head since then as a "To Read" luckily the other day I was in the right section of the library to find it.After Reading - I laughed through most of the book, it didn't disappoint.

    13. These essays often make you laugh. Even when you're not laughing out loud, you enjoy the trip.For years, my husband and I would read the Dave Barry columns to each other. (Okay, I usually did the reading.) It was so much fun to share the essay and made it all the funnier. We're going to read this book out loud too.

    14. Marcia's "Beach Reads" pick for 2008:If you’ve ever seen Rita live in Las Vegas, or on one of her PBS fund-raisers you’ll know why this will have people nearby in their beach chairs looking at you laughing away as you read this. Seriously hilarious.

    15. "For a laugh-out-loud experience, read Rudner's take on being 50-something. I found myself reading portions out loud to my husband and then absolutely cracking up and he was laughing too but not as much as I."--DB/Reference

    16. +A very funny look at the mind of a fifty plus comedienne. There are some real nuggets buried in this book. Funny things, poignant things, friendly Jewish mother advice and general insight to Rita Rudner. By the way, the advice is often something we would all do well to adhere to.

    17. I really enjoyed this book and highly recommend it. It's a very fun read. Along with the humor, Rudner offers some pretty snappy insights about us middle-agers. It is a great read for summer, or anytime you need a smile and a good story.

    18. ~meh~ It was okay and most of her stories are humorous but it wasn't laugh out loud funny. It was more a chuckle here or there. Although, in all fairness to Rita, I HAD just finished Carol Burnett's latest and you shouldn't really compare the two.For a light piece of fluff, I'd recommend it.

    19. Funny (not hysterical, laugh-out-loud) book for people over 50. Those under 50 would probably not enjoy it as much.

    20. I saw Rita for my birthday, laughed till I cried! Then had our photos taken together she still had mascara on not fair! LOL!! Funny lady, the book rocks!!

    21. Admittedly over fifty, Rudner has commentaries on the oddities that women deal with. It was a laugh out loud book that just had to be shared with someone who could also laugh at life.

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